Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Amaeru (to depend on the kindness of others, or in a sense to be spoilt) is a concept I run across far too often. It often commingles with male privilege as well.

'Because I am Japanese, I am not good at learning languages'. Nope, sorry. Where there is a will there is a way. I know tons of non-native speakers who have excellent English skills. Have you ever heard 'oh, I'm Swedish so I am bad at languages'? Seriously, you should expect more of yourself.

'Hey, there is this networking group where Japanese salarymen chat with foreign women in English'
*sputters in disbelief*
'No Ms.Godzilla, it isn't weird at all'
Nope, sorry. I am not up to being exoticised, fetishized or viewed as some kind of cheap thrill. Frankly, as this discussion came up with a really good friend, I was left kind of sad by his placid acceptance of it, although after explaining it in reverse (a bunch of international guys all meeting up with exclusively Japanese women) he seemed to get my point.

Amai, amai.

'I want my husband to support me, so I don't have to work ever again.'
Whoa, majorly unfair. Why should he pay for everything while you lounge about and play tennis?

'I want to work in Japan, in a regular job, but I only know conversational Japanese. English should totally be enough.'
Wrong, so wrong. Some people, who usually have worked hard in a very specialized, useful field (aka science) can do so. If not, work your butt off.

Or my particular favorite from the last weeks: 'Comfort women were necessary, so that the soldiers could 'satify their urges'. Oh ho ho, Mayor Hashimoto, what an a** you are. Women were not put on this earth just to satisfy men's desire for sex. Also, how is rape ever an acceptable thing?

And yet other politicians, including female politicians, just say: 'Oh, well that is just his opinion'.


  1. Hashimoto should be muzzled. Apparently now, he's meeting with former comfort women, when I reckon he'll say something utterly inappropriate. Again.
    The evening with men who want to meet foreign women has comedy potential at least... Although my tolerance for feeling like a monkey in a zoo has been wearing extremely thin these days...
    I work in a field where Japanese is not needed, although I try to speak Japanese where appropriate. Luckily, I love the field I'm in, and have no desire to change.

    1. Nope, no way I am going. He actually just asked me again, and I told him I can't believe that he doesn't find it weird. If I wished to be I ogled and speak about the weather and people's hobbies I would have become a hostess.