You see, I am one of those 'unnatural' women who has no interest in having children. I realized this when I was very young, and shut up about it, since it seemed like every other girl I knew was crazy about children and babies. I have not changed my opinion since then. I do not hate kids in the least, infact I quite like them... provided they are someone else's.
I have been told, usually by men, that I will change my mind, that when the right guy comes along I will somehow magically develop the desire to procreate (I will not even go into how insulting it is to tell someone they do not know their own mind). Besides, the right guy did show up, and I desperately tried to convince myself that children might be a possibility. But there is only so far you can deceive yourself. On the plus side, from the end of that relationship I realized that I need to make this fact abundantly clear.But when?!
If I state ' Hey, nice to meet you and, incidentally, I have no interest whatsoever in bearing your children' on a first date, the results are easily imaginable. Do I wait for him to broach the topic first (eeesh, that sounds cowardly)? Do I bring it up when we start discussing a more serious relationship? Matcha-kun does not appear particularly interested in kids, from what I have observed.... but being a chounan in most countries does carry several expectations, an heir being one of them...
I do not lie. I do not bait-and-switch. But this little fact about myself really does not help at all, especially in this country, where it seems all the guys want to have kids... it would be so much easier if I did too.
One should never say never, as stranger things than a person changing their long-held beliefs happen all the time... but how do I tell him? Any advice for a slightly frightened giant amphibian?