And I want to wish him new love. We parted on amicable terms, before our differences of opinion on that one (apparently not so small) issue could turn us against each other. Ah, but it is very difficult to forget someone you cannot hate.
Even now that I am making myself open to new relationships, one of those happy memories comes floating through my over-active brain, to bring that mean little twinge in the chest that anyone who has loved and lost knows far to well. Setsunai.
But now I try and build on those memories. A spring day in Shinjuku park now links to autumn there, with someone else. Making him pasta in Kobe is now side to side with sharing pasta with my housemates. My second Christmas in Japan, which will hopefully be as sweet as my first. I do not seek to forget, but rather to embrace the change.
So that one day I can, truly, wish him love. For everyone deserves as much. And so that I can move on, and find it for myself as well.
This was very beautifully written, sweetheart. I'm sorry you've had to go through such a painful experience, but you're really showing spirit by being able to move on. I admire it! Keep your chin up and keep that positive outlook, my dear~ <3
ReplyDeleteHi Hana,
ReplyDeleteI should be grateful, I hear much worse stories ;p but thank you :)
~~Even now that I am making myself open to new relationships, one of those happy memories comes floating through my over-active brain, to bring that mean little twinge in the chest that anyone who has loved and lost knows far to well. Setsunai.~~
ReplyDeleteThis is actually part of the reason I had to leave the USA. My entire life was tinged with memories that came when I didn't want them of a love that was not meant to be.
I hope you find happiness here :)
Hiya!
ReplyDeleteActually seeing and talking to my ex has, in a strange way, made it better :) He is still a great guy, but moving on has gotten a lot easier.