There are several reasons I cannot go into detail about my job here (most prominently that my contract forbids me to do so), but occasionally there are some hilarious, non-illegal things I can share.
One of the doubtful pleasures of my job is reading through and correcting essays and CVs. These are usually written by highly intelligent people who, unfortunately, often still are not at home with the English language. Below are a few recent gems:
* 'I was impressed by my team leader's leadership and learned the virility of my leadership' (oh my...)
* 'I would assume that it is because he was educated in the US that he thinks rationally and wastes no time' (uhm, I pretty sure everyone I know from college, including myself, minored in Procrastination)
* 'I learned the importance of the effort, the concentration, the fellow, the sincerity, and also patience' (which fellow?)
* 'Given this challenging spirit that he owns' (....poltergeist?)
* 'I want to be a global business leader' (x1000) (everyone writes this, but what does this mean?!)
Some could perhaps accuse me of being mean-spirited for posting these. However, I well know that my own mistakes in Japanese have literally brought my sempai to tears with laughter. Plus, slogging through those things day in and day out should allow for a bit of slack!
And I actually do like most of my clients, or people I meet at work-related events. Some have even been kind enough to express their appreciation in tangible form... such as huge boxes of sembei and the glorious confections which have been tempting me and my boss for the past few days.