Burning the Midnight Oil

One of the tough parts of working in Japan is that it is so very easy to rationalize things based on the surrounding work culture. To be honest, I am not even sure it is a Japan-specific issue, it seems like it is similar elsewhere too.

One gets lulled into a sense of complacency.

'At least I only do 1.5~2 hours a day of overtime, other people are in the office until midnight'. (No matter that it adds up to an extra full day of work per week in total hours)

'If I stay a bit longer each evening maybe I can get it done' (No matter that I am in fact holding two positions which should both be full time)

'Oh cool, only 1 extra hour today!' (No matter that my manager looks confused at my departure)

Comparatively speaking, I must admit my situation is much better than many of my friends. Matcha-kun has had weeks in which he came home past 11:00pm every night. 

I hear tales on the train, regaled with a certain inexplicable measure of pride and exhaustion, of working 3 days straight with only naps under a desk to keep going. It is almost like some people are proud of the amount of overtime they do, of the time taken away from their family, outside interests and required REM hours.

My job has many incredibly interesting parts, and I realize that I have a degree of responsibility and free rein that are unusual for someone my age (especially female and especially in Japan), but the culture of overtime just seems so destructive. There are certainly times when you have to cope with emergencies and will need to put in the extra time, but expecting this to go on for months (years!) is not conductive to employee health and well-being. It is a bit of modern machismo I despise and yet have to submit to.

How does one change this? Do we just have to wait for all the 'my-job-is-my-life' dudes to retire? 

Thoughts on a Shinkansen Night Ride

Oh hello... I have been a bad blogger, haven't I? Mea culpa.

But you know how it is.... 50~60 hour weeks, the hot blanket of summer over the city smothering ones' creativity, freelance writing opportunities popping up. It often feels that I am so busy I barely have time to blink. And that is, of course, Not Good.

While work is certainly quite important, busyness for the sake of being busy is destructive. The mind needs time to roam free, to come up with those wonderful little ideas that become something exciting: a piece of art, a book, a new business, a daring mathematical theory.

But enough of my complaining, for Ms.Godzilla (travel writer at large!) is on her way to Niigata, the land of sake. And hopefully there will be many new stories to tell and exciting discoveries to share.

To Boldly Go Where No One Has Gone Before

... well, not quite. Still, if you are looking for inspiration for neat places to check out in Tokyo (or nearby), here are a couple often overlooked favorites.

KITASENJU

Land of truly cool painted shutters (a whole street worth), really odd 'Italian-style' takoyaki and more bars than you can shake a stick at.

KAWAGOE

Streets filled with Edo-era storehouses and homes, delicious sweet potato snacks and visitors dressed up in kimono and fox masks.

Black Suits and Coffee: 就活と希望

It is that time of year again. I see them in their shiny black suits, sensible shoes and faces white with tiredness and anxiety. The job hunting season commences, and I watch young students still unused to the brace of a suit as they file through my office, write resumes madly at coffee shops and stare out of trains, glazed over by the repetition of answers to the same 10 interview questions.

Not to mention the questions trey pose themselves.

Will I be okay?
Will anyone hire me?
Do I actually want to do this?
But my parents say...
But my friends say...
What will I do with my life?

I see them and just want to go over, give them a big hug and tell them:

You will be okay.
Don't take a job just because the company is famous or your parents tell you to.
Don't forget who you are, in the process of streamlining yourself for bored HR interviewers.
Life is long, and your first job will mainly teach you what you do and don't like.
Your value as a human being is not linked to your paycheck.
You are fine just the way you are.
Don't trust anyone who says 'you will be lucky to work here'.
Don't trust companies that won't pay you benefits.
Take a deep breath, you can do this.
The company won't take care of you, YOU take care of yourself.

You will change and grow and make mistakes.  Right now it all seems to loom so large, your whole future decided by a few sheets of paper and luck. But try not to worry. One day you will stand as I do now, hopefully in a slightly kinder world, and tell someone else the same thing.

大丈夫よ、自分のままで。

Cultural Fatigue: aka 'Eugh, not this again!'

Yesterday I was scrolling through Tumblr (small life tip: if you haven't got a Tumblr account, don't get one. It is intensively addictive!) when I came across a reference to cultural fatigue (http://www.vagabondjourney.com/what-is-cultural-fatigue/). 

While the author is talking about a very different situation (being constantly overcharged in South America) the whole 'feeling' is so very familiar.

As much as one can enjoy living in a different country, it can get exhausting. Japan may be easier than South America in many aspects, but it still finds ways to make you want to scream.

I spend almost all of my waking hours speaking in Japanese. I like my job, for the most part, but the thickly layered bureaucracy is a slog. Having to speak and write in keigo is exhausting. Not always understanding 100% of things said or jokes can be a bit alienated. Getting spoken to in boo-boo English from shopkeepers. People assuming I am an English teacher or don't know much about Japan.

It is not the end of the world, but these little things do add up. I can't run away from it, so how is one to deal with these feelings of 'doneness' and annoyance?

Well, I have a few ideas of my own, and would love to hear about others:

1- Give Yourself a Break

Spending most of your day in a foreign culture is mentally draining, so give your grey cells a break. Watch shows or read in your native language. Listen to comedians you like. Just space out for a while. Find quiet time to let your mind go blank.

2- Sweat it Out

Cultural fatigue also seems to turn into muscular tension. Get rid of that frustation through exercise. I find that running is a great way to combine idea 1 and 2.

3- Let It Go (Let it go~🎵)

There is a wonderful Buddhist saying: let go or be dragged. At a certain point you just have to let go of some of these annoyances. Making fun of them (to myself or with an understanding friend) helps me make the recurring annoyances small enough to brush off.

4- Enjoy the Good

While there are downsides to living in a different culture, there are (usually) also lots of good points which are worth remembering and celebrating. For instance, I enjoy celebrating traditional Japanese holidays in a small way (like eating ehomaki for Setsubun, or going to a shrine on New Years). I love that I can run safely even after dark. I love that tofu is dirt cheap. I love the beautiful places one can get to by train. I adore not having to drive or own a car. Making a little mental list of the things you enjoy can perk you up.

5- Eat Your Own Food

No matter how delicious Japanese cuisine can be, sometimes you just need a taste of home, whatever that might be. Super cheap Kraft macaroni and cheese, a plate of lasagna, hummus loaded with tahini... whatever it is, keep a secret stock for when you need it.

I am now going to take my own advice, have a bowl of pasta e ceci and watch terrible trash tv online. 

Apartment hunting in Tokyo: The Search Commences

Now that Matcha-kun and I have decided to live together, the hunt is on for a Tokyo apartment large enough to accommodate two slightly oversized people. And I am thrilled, there are few things I like more than looking at oodles of real estate.

However, this does not mean that this is a simple endeavor. While Matcha-kun's requirement list is quite short (as large as possible, nearish a useful train line), mine is a little more elaborate: as new as possible, 2nd floor or higher up, no tatami, lots of storage, quiet, if possible near some greenery. Finding a 2LDK within budget is going to be challenging.

The first hunting trips have been an eye opening experience. I have found that, in general, architects seem to think storage is optional, and that double glazed windows are a rarity, even when the apartment is near a major thoroughfare. 

Also, dealing with real estate agents is an exercise in patience. Although I get that this is partly due to the fact that Matcha-kun will probably be the one with his name on the lease (as being a Japanese national makes it easier), agents only ask him questions. I will be paying half the rent (a fact we explained) and yet they don't ask what my job is, where I work or anything. Since we have let them know that I will be the one deciding on the apartment, as my requirements are more numerous and am more familiar with real estate, this seems like bad business practice. 

When I showed up alone to look at a rather expensive place, Mr. Agent was all nervously aflutter about the fact my 'goshujin' (husband... yeah, ugh) wasn't with me. It is all so very heteronormative and annoying, but such is life.

It seems like each place we/I have visited has a major minus flaw or two. The gorgeous designer apartment was far too small for two people. The two incredibly large flats were either in a building that looks like a set from The Ring or right in front of a major noisy street. The house(!) had the most ridiculous layout and no space for a fridge... along with the most hideous floral wallpaper I have had the doubtful pleasure to set eyes on.

Next week is another round, wish me luck!

Phone Photos: Glimpse into everyday weirdness

Today we have a special guest appearance, and a selection of recent interesting events.

Sooo, Matcha-kun is patient beyond belief. I love to mess with his hair (that truly black, never-been-bleached colour that some Asians have) and am generally a pest. Yet somehow he doesn't mind (much). I twirl my hair bands into it, and he comes out looking far better than I do!

Another Matcha-kun trait is that it takes a great deal of effort to wake him. Which means that, if he decides to take a nap when I am hyper, there is a high risk of me staging impromptu photoshoots... with my wardrobe. The photos are used with permission, by the way.

I have written before about my love/hate relationship with vending machines. On the whole, I am now pretty much immune to drink machines... but unusual ones still catch my attention. Everyday I pass an icecream machine, selling this pumpkin and cookie flavored temptation. In the name of culinary science, I had to try it (because pumpkin!). The verdict: it tastes like a very rich cookies and cream icecream, not pumpkin-y at all. Sad.

On the topic of irresistible things, I saw this sign and am now obsessed. I want a giant coffee mug emblazoned with this phrase. Although I must say, I have cut back my coffee habit, which was getting waaay out of hand.

My parents (who are awesome, if a bit nuts) sent this fabulous t-shirt. Yes, it is indeed emblazoned with corgis. This makes the 4th corgi themed gift I have received so far, and am very pleased with this trend!

What else did they send, you ask? Well, that would be Jabba the Corg.

I hope everyone had a good week, the weekend is just around the corner!

I Quit my High-Powered Job... AND THAT'S OK

So, some people seemed to be wondering what the hell was up with my previous post about job hunting in Japan. After all, it wasn't so long ago I announced to the world that I was taking on a fancy new position, right? Was that post just a random thing, or a late compendium of thoughts?

Well...no.

I have actually accepted another job, my second in less than 9 months. I quit my previous company and then spent 2 months soul searching, job hunting and confronting a lot of my prideful demons.

Let me make it crystal clear: I adore my previous company. This is not lip service, I had fantastic colleagues (whom I am still in close contact with), great pay, nice corporate culture, and a lot of support. The product is amazing, and the technology truly top notch. It was because of all of these factors that I stayed on as long as I could, even past the point that was probably mentally healthy.

The only issue was, I hated the job: sales. Towards the Japanese market.

As someone who likes to speak to people and give presentations, I thought sales would be a good fit. I had done something related before, and was excited to dive into the tech world and prove myself.

But pure sales turned out to be a very different experience. Cold calls, pushing clients, constant back and forth over technical issues, pressure and late hours. All this done in Japanese.

I did my best, taking company-sponsored keigo classes, researching competitors, gleaning info from my sempai, calling company after company, mailing list after list. Eventually, I was waking up every morning with a cannonball of dread in my stomache, breaking down in tears of fear and frustration, and waking up at 5:00am in a panic. I ignored it for as long as I could, because I liked the company so much.

I have a huge sense of responsibility, and so whenever I saw my numbers stagnating or not rising as rapidly as predicted (even for reasons outside of my control), I felt horribly guilty that I was letting down the team. My self-worth attached itself to those numbers, and left me in a constant state of anxiety. What made it worse is that my teammates were all so kind and helpful, giving advice on how to resolve technical issues or boost results. It would almost have been preferable if they had been mad at me, thus reflecting how mad I was at myself for not being able to reach the level I thought I should.

Sales people, those who actually love the thrill of the chase and are motivated by bonuses and KPIs, are amazing. Watching my sempai in action was a masterclass, as he took hold of the power balance and brought huge accounts in again and again.

But it isn't for me. And that, I eventually figured out, is ok. No matter how much you may want to, you can't be good at everything, or make yourself like something you truly do not.

Now I have found a position much closer to my interests (travel), that uses my language skills, and that is challenging without making me an anxious mess. It is still IT-related (a must), venture-like and allows me to tell stories, which I love.

I have figured out what I can and cannot live with, although my pride took a giant hit in the process. 

The more you know, right?