Dating in Japan: Meet the Parents

Yokohama sunsets are one of the many reasons I am glad to live in my current location. In the summer I get home right when the sky is at its most dramatic, and during the rest of the year, if I work from home, it lets me know that I am almost done.

It is under one of these stunning displays of colour that Matcha-kun asked a simple, but slightly terrifying question.

'When you have time, maybe you should come meet my parents?'

Oooh boy. He made it clear that this is not a formal '娘をください/息子をよろしく' kind of situation, but rather a detour when visiting the area... but it still freaks me out a bit. Technically it makes sense, since he intends to work outside of Japan for a bit, and so the chances of doing this at a later date are complicated by that possibility. But still...

This is a complex issue. While around here it is becoming more common for parents to meet their children's significant others earlier in a relationship, I am not sure if this is the case in the inaka. They may take this more seriously than his idea, of checking out the apple orchards, munching some apples and then popping in to say hi.

On paper, I could be mistaken as the ideal Japanese daughter in law. Well-studied, knows how to cook Japanese food, how to wear kimono, play the koto and shamisen, was a miko for a while and speaks decent Japanese. Off paper I am tall, forthright, have little interest in children and 'what the neighbours think', and speak in a rather masculine version of kansaiben. Oh, and not Japanese (like, duh).

But besides that, it seems to be indicating to potential future plans which I am not sure I wish to be a part of yet. While the average woman in these parts might be overjoyed with the idea ('いいんじやない！25 is prime marriage age!') I do not feel that is that is my case. I have been having a blast, and like things as they are right now. My goals and plans require a certain amount of freedom, and being tied to someone, no matter how wonderful and delightful, does restrict that.

Yes, I am indeed over-thinking this whole situation, but I know he doesn't do anything without thinking it through at length. And you never know how parents will react. While seeing a picture of yours truly might be just fine, actually seeing me in person with their first son might not go over quite as well. Big eyes and pale skin only work up to a certain point.

But yes, I will go. If just for the apples and seeing the sun set over someplace new.