Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Dating in Japan

Perhaps it is the wedding-wave (more on that in a later post), but recently I have been seriously pondering the issue of dating once one leaves the safe embrace of academia and goes out to work in the real world. College is easy, as you have a whole bunch of people in the same age range herded together. Just add alcohol, then sit back and watch the fireworks.

But here and now? Much more complicated.

To start my office consists of my boss and myself. And our clients, who may indeed be mainly male, are also mainly married (being as most have the '3 takai's': high income, high schooling and height). Add to that a workoholic society, the Kanto politeness and the fact that I am taller than the median height of men in the area, and Houston we have a problem. No wonder goukon and omiai are still all the rage!

Work outfit: coat (Theory), scarf (Italian?), bag (Furla), heels (Michael Kors)
Dinner with friends outfit: dress (Next), cardigan (Forever 21), scarf+ bag (Furla... I love that bag far too much), boots (Nordstrom)... and weird smirk
Koto lesson + date outfit: jacket+shirt (Uniqlo), skirt (Forever 21), bag (Furla), hair pon-pon (Happie Loves It)

But, in my pushy ways, I have managed to have three dates in the past week and a half (being incapable of doing something half-heartedly).

The first was great, interesting guy, well-travelled and dressed, tallish... we had a lot of fun talking about silly things, but perhaps not quite my type?

The second was a disaster. We met in Roppongi (who in their right mind invites a Caucasian girl to Roppongi, where she is sure to be taken as a hostess?!). Nice enough person, but boring. Doesn't really travel, doesn't like ethnic food (!!!), no real hobbies...eesh.

But the last one, in Ebisu, was really excellent. He picked up on my Kansai accent and took me for kushi katsu in a lovely, dark little place hidden on the 2nd story of a building. This was followed by walkies and tea. 

And my god is he a stunner. Lets just hope the feeling was mutual :)

All in all, however, it seems that this whole thing is going to take a lot of effort. My roommate organizes goukon as a hobby (odd, but to each their own). Perhaps I should enlist her services?  Sounds like an excellent adventure ;p


  1. oooh~! dating in japan is so fun! sounds like youre doing good! it took me forever getting dates in japan, i was shy and of course all guys actually interested in me were shy too...took weeks to get anywhere! lol!

  2. I do try my best... It really is a problem of height for me, since I am 1.76m ;p In any case, in your case it seems to have worked out well :)

  3. Oh man, you think it's difficult and you live in Tokyo. Try living out in the boonies, THAT'S difficult. ;P
    Everyone is either high school aged/younger or is in their upper 20s and only wants to settle down and marry ASAP. Of course, doesn't help that I have your same predicament with height and stand at 1.8m :<
    Either way, keep at it!

  4. Hi Indi:)
    Ah, a Miss Godzilla counterpart in Shikoku (man I love Shikoku, so much fun!).
    I feel your pain, although I find the boonies lead to a more friendly atmosphere. Tokyoites seem just a tad...uptight?

  5. I love this talk of dating guys in Japan. It's so interesting! I've never dated a Japanese guy myself, but I do hear interesting stories of my friends who do. :) I feel like it's harder for foreign girls than it is for foreign guys!

    However, 3 dates in one week, you're doing very well for yourself!

    PS. I like the pop of pink from your scarf in your first outfit.

  6. Hi Fashimi!
    Yeah, I tend to go full out of things ;p Candidate n.3 is still texting me a lot, so I think there is another date on the horizon. If you have the chance to date a Japanese guy, go for it :) Very gentlemanly bunch, in my experience.
    As soon as I have a minute I'm going to go through your food posts better, check up on the tastiness ;p

  7. you look super cute in all three outfits! you're definitely a stunner yourself!!

    p.s. if i chance upon any hot (and interesting) men above 1.76, i'll send them your way! :)


  8. Oh, you are just too sweet :) Cheers!

  9. teach me your ways! how do you set up these dates??

  10. Hello Ms. Laughter,

    While one was a case of nanpa, the other two were found through a J-dating website. If done carefully (I exchanged mails and texts with each one for months) and selectively, it is actually a pretty good method. I am also going to try and perfect my gyaku-nanpa skills ;p

  11. gyaku-nan ne -- i need to practice that as well! do you mind letting me know which sites you used??

  12. Hiya! I actually had success with the rather controversial Gaijinpot Personals, and also signed up for Japan Cupid :) Again, I recommend immense caution ;)

  13. Why do you call yourself Ms. Godzilla? Just curious.


  14. Hi Rob, due to my height, I often feel like Godzilla trampling through the streets of Tokyo

  15. I gather my wits enough to sit up and glance at him. He’s maneuvered his way out of the rest of his clothes, Escorte Romania